Creating relationships that last a lifetime.
Develop healthy relationships and create your foundation for long term success.
Healthy relationships in every area of life are the greatest catalysts for success. They give us a sense of purpose; an opportunity to contribute to others; they allow us to practice humility and receive criticism; to discover and develop our skills; and to expand our abilities. Some relationships are a source of inspiration. I work with people I like and I believe that working with people whom you like and trust is the most rewarding benefit of being an entrepreneur.
Birds of a feather flock together although, if money is the purpose of the flock, the relationships may not last as long.
When I say healthy relationships in every area I mean every area, from those you love to the employees of businesses you patronize, even people in line with you, which may not appear as very important, can still impact how you see yourself. Can you walk into a local business and be greeted by name or a tone of familiarity? How would you feel if you walked into your most frequented coffee shop and were greeted by name?
Be the positive ripple, start the trend!
Before responding to potential confrontation ask yourself “would I want to hear what I am about to say?” Sometimes the way to earn respect is through respectfully confrontation. Healthy doesn’t mean that everyone is your best friend or that you like everyone, healthy means open honest respectful communication.
When you connect your head and your heart you connect your cognitive functioning with the emotional and volitional process and become highly efficient at building relationships. You might even accomplish some great things without even a desire to do so, which reminds me of a great story about a Mafia Lieutenant.
Would you let a Mob Boss coach your little league baseball team?
I met a Mob Boss at a pancake breakfast and he was just like one of the guys.
I read a book Blood Covenant by Michael Franzese, a Colombo Family Lieutenant, who left the Mob and lives to do a great many good things for humanity. He built new relationships in Encino, CA and in 2001 as a baseball coach his reputation earned him the honor of being selected by the Encino Little League President to coach the 2001 Little League All-Star Team.
Here’s a guy who left a multimillion dollar life of crime and made a home for his wife and family as a regular business owner in Encino, CA.
As a business owner reputation is everything,
as a little league coach it’s even more!
When the word got out about Mr. Franzese background reporters interviewed parents, umpires and league officials. Mr. Franzese shared this in his book “I can get pretty emotional when I think about the wonderful things all of these people had to say about me.” They said good things because Mr. Franzese built relationships with them, allowing the people of Encino to know and trust him.
Mr. Franzese came from a world of men with hardened hearts, men driven by the bottom line of greed and control, made a choice and turned his life around with a new bottom line focus, in my opinion what I read in his book, his focus is to live a life that brings honor to his Lord and Savior and to be a positive influence for his family and in the lives of the people he meets.
Mr. Franzese connected his head with his heart and when he did money no longer was his bottom line. Yet, that doesn’t mean he became a pauper he is still a very successful respectable businessman and it’s all legal.
The phrase “we are human beings not human doings” refers to the connection with people that is lost or not made when we “do” so much that we leave no time to actually connect. When we have no subjective connection with the people around us we are isolated. When we focus on “BEING” the characteristics we value then in our heart we seem to manifest a way of being that attracts people with the same values and now we belong to a community.
Social Media Communities just might be the purest format to experience or connect with people. The written expression of our thoughts is revealing. The words we use are powerful in that they express our thoughts and give readers insight to who we are, people connect with us and are inspired when we share the real stories… our experiences. When people refer to “our heart” it is an intangible and we are really referring to our subjective experiences and feelings that stir our emotions.
When I listed to Mr. Franzese speak at that pancake breakfast I heard about experiences that gave me more conviction about my ability to persevere, I realized I was trying to be too perfect and I let that go. Overall I left feeling that I could be a better husband, father, businessman and these are the reasons why I invest my time into listening to people with more experience than I and who are willing to share their experiences and give insight on how to make less mistakes.
Don’t we all want to make less mistakes?
How You Show Up Matters
How you show up in the lives of the people you encounter has an impact on your success. How can the cashier at the grocery store be a determining factor in your success? Imagine standing in line at the grocery store and having a conversation with the cashier and giving them a word of praise. Not something that happens very often. At the next register there is another customer who had a bad day and overheard your words of praise and your words lifted that person’s spirit. A week goes by and you walk into an appointment with a new potential customer or into an interview for a new job and the person you are meeting with is the person at the next register although you have no idea. Your meeting goes exceptionally well and the person you are meeting with seems to have a very positive demeanor toward you. After following up on your meeting a few times you find out that you earned the business or you were chosen for the job and during your next meeting you find out how your grocery store conversation created a reputation for you.
When you invest time into inspiring, encouraging and uplifting the people in your life you do the same for yourself.